A fowl Christmas carol
by Dragon-Of-The-Depths
Summary: Three fowl brothers and two weeks before the big night, all alone? What surprises do I have in store? Come and see. T for possible language use. Sorry, timid as foaly.
1. Mornings

"Nooooo!" Came the whining tone.

"You." I started." Are children. You are supposed to have practically unlimited energy. I am a teenager. I need Sleep. If I have the energy to get up. Then so. Do. YOU!"

I pulled on Beckett's leg, prying him from the mattress.

"Simpleton!"

I could hear Myles giggle.

"You up to, Myles."

"Nope."

"Myles Alexander fowl, I'm giving you until the count of three-"

He was out of the room like a shot.

"But I am TIERD!"

"And your going to be late as well if you don't get a move on!" Beckett landed on the floor with a splat. How did mother and father do this everyday for the past six years?

Ah. Only higher powers would know.

Which was why I agreed to be the legal guardian for the last week of school, and then up to Christmas Eve, when there arrival was due.

Ah. Two weeks left. After today that was.

Lightbulb!

"You don't want to be late for the last day of school... You wouldn't want to make up the time in detention, would you?"

Eyes widened as adrenaline ran through his system.

He was dressed in a flash and at the kitchen table in less. Down the hall I strid, towards the kitchen. I slid down the banister and pushed the kitchen doors open.

"Myles! Get the radioactive material OFF THE KITCHEN TABLE! Beckett GET A SHIRT ON! NOOOO!" They used me as a hanging post.

It was official. I was never having children. But it wasn't a huge possibility because...

"Simpleton! Simpleton! Simpleton! Time for breakfast!"

I shoved a box of 'frosted flakes' towards my kin. They inhaled it eagerly.

"I'm ready!"

" are you positive you don't want to... Clean up more, Beckett. I could lend you some hair gel..."

"POSITIVE!"

" I'll be ready in two."

I sighed. They really didn't know how important your image was. But, alas. They were raised different. So arum est poates was not engrained into there memory for good. Children, not businessmen.

I walked to the front door. My strides sounding in the cold air. With a home as extensive as my own. It was hard to heat. Over the years I have gotten sick if the cold, which is why a new automatic heating system blueprint powerful enough for the Manor, was sitting on my desk.

I husked my trench coat off of the coat hanger, and threw it over my thin shoulders. I did up the buckles and flicked the collar to a more dramatic angle. I pulled knee high winter boots over my leggings. Instead of my usual slacks, I donned for legging in the winter. Easier with the boots and warmer on my skin. I was dressed in a navy dress shirt, with a white tie. Hair gelled, not as much, because of the cold air, especially outside.

I pulled on a red beanie. Not my favourite style. But better than the alternative.

" letsgoletsgoletsgoletsgo! LAST DAY!" Beckett jumped beside me. Zipping his jacket.

"Patience."

I said, pulling on his toque.

The winter-dressed Myles appeared beside us.

"Ready boys?"

They cheered. I grabbed the keys. I wonder how my parents and the butlers are...

BUTLER POV

I would rather be facing a team of marines. By far. My arms may be massive, but they can only hold so many shopping bags.

"Oh! They have a lulu lemon here! We HAVE to stop!"

I mentally slapped my sister.

"They have a lulu lemon!?" squealed.

I heard a groan "women." I turned to see a forlorn .

"I agree with you on that." I agreed full heartedly.

"I would imagine. Your arms are stuffed with shopping bags from bikinis to winter coats."

I chuckled.

" I hope the boys are okay." The fowl father sighed.

"They are."

"how do you know?" He asked, exasperated.

" the most important thing I have ever learned. always trust artemis. He always has a plan. That plan will always work. And artemis has been more than Capable than looking after the twins for a long time."

"So, trust the plan,Trust the boy?"

"Yes."

Over and out

SWDBRNNO2


	2. Trees

_**ho ho ho! i'm in happy mode! school has ofically ended for winter break. so i'm going to try and update every two days! crazy, right? so, you've all been nice little boys and girls, so merry christmas! and congrats, i'm the leader of the naughty list!**_

" deck the halls with bows of holly! fa la la la la, la la la la. 'tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la, la la la la!"

"jingle-bells, jingle-bells, jingle all the way! oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open slay!"

my brother's are giving me a headache. i lugged the ax over one shoulder. today was the day we picked our tree. or to translate, my brothers find a tree they like and make me lug it a mile or so back to the manor. my brown boots dug into the snow as i continued forward.

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, has a very shiny nose! and if you ever saw it, you could even say it glowes, like a lightbulb! all of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names, like Pinocchio! they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games, like monopoly!"

i laughed at Beckett's revised version of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. god, that boy sure has an imagination.

"it's beginning to look alot like Christmas, every where you go. take a look in the five-and-ten, glistening once again, with candy canes and silver lanes aglow. its beginning to look alot like christmas, toys in every store. but the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be on your own front door." i sang for them, joining the 'joke' that was meant to tease me.

" did the grinch just sing a Christmas carol?"

i laughed. " your hilarious. just because i work all the time doesn't mean i don't love christmas."

i heard a gasp from beside me. i glanced over with a lightly furrowed brow, what had my brothers gotten themselves into?

"this is it! this is it! the PERFECT TREE!"

i glanced up. " what did i get myself into?"

i seen a tree so big that it might have even given buter some grief. i dropped the ax in shock.

" see! its sooooooo good that simpleton dropped the ax in suprise!"

i whined.

" are you sure this is the tree you want? not a... shorter one?"

"artemis fowl scarred by a tree?"

i straightened at myles taunt, putting on a brave face.

" not in the slightest."

once again i wield the ax, stepping forward. i eyed the 13 foot spruce. its green limbs taunting me.

" why me?" i started to swing and... bonk.

the ax practically bounced off. the twins started laughing.

"would you like to try?!"

they laughed harder. i took another swing... and another.

_swoosh_

_clang_

_clang..._

" is this invincable?!" i screamed, taking a dramatic pose wile stomping my foot.

i felt somthing snap inside of me. ah, there goes patience.

_clangclangclangclangcrackcrack. _

finally, progress. i gave it every bit of determanation and strength i had. give it a minute or so, bang, christmas in a plant at my disposal.

i wiped my sweating brow. "lets get this in the house. and lets get me a cup of tea and a good book."

so, yes, i did predict quite accuratly. they pick it, i lug it.

_**hello! a quick chapter for you. i know this might be a bit OOC but it is christmas. and in my mind, anything can happen. thankyou to the reviewer who alerted me of this. but to be fair, this is my first time trying to incorparate either of the twins really. thannks a bunch and see ya next time!**_

_**over and out**_

_**SEDBRNNO2**_


	3. Stories

i read on to my kin. the boys listening intently as i explaned the story. i was telling them of my adventures, as they requested.

`` ... i knew this was the way it had to be done. Lets say butler wasn`t too happy with that. i ordered him to protect minvera as i continued...``

i was telling them of the time we were in hybras. i remembered it clear as day. it was quite a memorable experence... i remember holly falling at the blade. i wished never to experience anything of the sort again. i looked at my dozing brothers, halting the story. i`ll never have to, i thought. i will make sure of it. i wrapped my brothers in protective arms. even if it means i have to a scrafice for it.

i nuzzled into myles head, breathing in the cent.

don't worry, ill protect you. before i dozed off myself...


	4. Decorations

Laughter filled the room. My brothers using each other and myself as a stepping stool.

"N-now shhh-hh. Im gonna fall if you keep it up!" Myles laughed. I tried to look up at the boys on my shoulders.

Second day of the break was left for tree decorating. My thin shoulders shook, weather from effort or laughter I did not know.

"And... Another ordainment please!"

I passed up another bulb to Beckett, which from there made its way to Myles. Both of the boys were red faced from lack of oxygen. Laughing is murder, I knew it. The little red ball was placed on the gigantic tree, which now stood tall in the living room.

"W-wwoah! Boys!" I bent backwards, colliding with the rug.

I gasped for breath. As my poor ribs have softened their landing.

"Oof!"

I wobbled on the ladder. Plan one failed, so I told the twins to wait as I finnished the top of the tree. The box of ordainments tucked under my right arm.

Bulb after bulb was placed. This tree was quite beautiful. Sure, it gave me grief to get it here. But it was beautiful. I would have loved it in a smaller size, though.

I finnished.

"Boys, could one of you climb up and pass me the star?"

"Sure thing!" I heard the patter of tiny feet.

Then the sound of Someone climbing a latter and I turned to see Beckett ascending the wooden frame.

He handed me the golden star and started to seems once again to the ground.

I stretched on the small latter. Aha.

I fixed on the tree topper with a sigh. Done.

Then I felt weightlessness.

Over and out

SWDBRNNO2


	5. Cookies part one

I hobbled on my sprained ankle. Thanks to Beckett, who had tripped over his own two feet and pulled the ladder down with him.

"Ummm... Three eggs. Myles? You got that?"

"Three eggs!"

Yes, the fowl boys were making Christmas cookies.

"Flour! Front and centre!"

I glanced at the book I was quoting.

Beckett's small arms rolled the flour into the counter.

"... And that's all the ingredients. Alright, 'first off, take your flower and peanut butter (quantity above) and mix them together. After that is done, add mill and continue mixing..."

I peaked up. Oh. My. God.

The twins might as well have been ghosts.

"Did you slip up with the flour?" I teased them.

"What do you mean?" Beckett brought over a measuring cup.

He poured it in the mixing bowl.

"How much was that?"

"Two cups." Answered Myles

"Okay. Apparently were doubling the batch now."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's fine boys. We just get more cookies now."

"YES! Mess-ups rock!"

I peaked in the bowl, before setting the book down.

"Alright. I'll start mixing. You boys get the milk. AND DON'T DROP I-"

SPLAT!

I love being listened to.

I inhaled shakily. Frustration starting to get to me.

"You are in serious need of agility lessons."

"Like you can talk!"

"True." I concluded.

I sighed, picking up the now empty milk jug.

"Time to go grocery shopping, I suppose.


	6. Snowballs

I threw the keys on the hook, husking off my jacket. Grocerie shopping went off with out a hitch for the most part. My tie caught on the jacket. I quickly un-tangled it.

POOF!

White surrounded my eyesight. And a rebellion spark lit inside me.

" . .do?" I seethed.

A giggle.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Oh... Poor niëve Beckett. I WILL SHOW YOU!"

In a snap I turned, racing out the door. And WHAMP!

I pinned Beckett in the snow, washing him off with the powder. He squealed in surprise and tried to slither away. No prevail.

"Don't mess with the big brother. The big brother always wins."

I was assaulted by snowballs. Myles stood with more of the packed powder in hand.

"Step away from the Beckett."

I dragged him down with us. Both were laughing almost uncontrollably. I chuckled along side them. In the cold winter we threw the packed snow, warring with each other. Soon we were all laying in the snowdrift, watching flakes fall from the sky above.

"That was fun." Myles concluded.

I laughed."let's Finnish packing in the groceries. We have cookies to Finnish."

over and out

SWDBRNNO2


End file.
